Second Attempt

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After the first, comes the second!

The second attempt was harder, which surprised me. I honestly thought after the first try, I would just get steadily better and better and become this amazingly fit person who could do 20k with no effort needed. Looking back, I do realise that was insanity really, but hey, a girl can dream right?

So a few days after Run 1, I was lying on the couch telling myself all the reasons I shouldn't go. After Run 1, my legs and bum hurt for daysss. DAYS. Also, my stomach, specifically abs, hurt too. Going up the flights of stairs to my flat was a nightmare. It was torrential rain outside, with freezing cold winds too. I wasn't cut out to run. A fat girl like me, how dare I try and do something to make myself feel better? 

Thankfully, I had, in a moment of madness, picked up a new running jacket from Primark for the bargain price of £10 the day before. I tried it on, and realised it looked so good and I more importantly felt so good that I immediately wanted to test it out. I also reasoned with myself that less people would be outside because of the horrible weather, so less people would see me fail so hard at running. 

20 minutes later, soaking wet from head to toe, I couldn't stop smiling! It was actually easier this time. I had bought amazing sport bras from M&S that meant I could just wear a t-shirt and still be supported, unlike last time! I even did some sprints, as I naturally run quite fast and have been trying to work on running slower so I can run for longer! Sprinting is so fun: running so fast you can't breathe, everything hurts, and still being amazed at how fast you can move... oh no, I sound like one of those scary healthy exercising people!! I promise I'm not.

I'm not saying that each time you don't want to run to buy a new piece of gear, or some new trainers. But having an incentive to run, such as a nice treat waiting back home for you, or a new jacket, or even thinking of how nice it would be to literally run away from your problems can help make the run easier! 

The First Run

Man, this was so good to run!

So, I've started running.

Well, maybe I should say, 'attempting to run'. Honestly, it's more of a crawling jog! One night last weekend I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be awesome to be able to run 10k?". 

As someone who used to shudder at the thought of even having to run for a bus, this thought was totally out of the blue. I have never been one for physical exercise, except for dancing. I used to dance a LOT as a child, competitively and in a few different styles too. Then I got into high school and became self conscious of myself and stopped dancing. Looking back, I do wish I hadn't listened to my inner thoughts, as I imagine I'd be a lot better now (and a lot skinnier too!).

So, the next day, I decided to try and run. Not very far, not very fast, but just to try. Luckily, it was a dry, sunny day and I had some trainers. I didn't have a good sports bra, so I just made do with what I had; which coincidentally was to put on a tight bra, a sports bra, a tight vest top and then my baggy running top. Not my brightest idea! I couldn't breathe very well, but the girls were strapped in tight. But just as I was about to leave the door, my brain decided to freak out and tell me I couldn't do this. I felt really deflated, and was all ready to sit down and pat myself on the back for even attempting this.

AND THEN

I decided to google 'running motivation' and found an amazing article found here. It essentially says FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, GET OVER YOURSELF AND RUN!

So, run I did. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't fast. For some of it, I thought about all the people looking at me. Other parts I wondered when I could turn back. But for a few tiny moments, I thought 'I wonder how much farther I can go?'. In total, it was about 20 minutes long my run. But for those 20 minutes, I wasn't being anxious, or worrying, or attached to something electronic. It was just me, my music, and the thump thump thump of my feet on the ground.

And honestly? It was great.